Love

Love is a puzzle,
Within a puzzle
With a rare resolution,
And various painful endings.

Love is knowing why
Not how or when
But why/ you feel
The way you do

Love is unsureness
For rareley returned equally
It leaves you confused
And disallusioned

Love brings you to darkness
Solitude;
Quiet.

Love is so commonly felt,
But so rarely returned/ for real
Lies and scams
Formed to better vanity
Leave the world
Unstable and cold

Love is instability,
Insecurity,
Insainity.

Why do we love/ love?
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Masks

A smile on the outside,
Pain hidden deep within
She lives her life playing a roll,
That is slowly slipping away
She has so many masks
With each different person
She reaches for another
For so long she has done this
That she is starting to get them mixed up
She's so confused.

She's spent so much time,
Playing rolls and using masks,
That she cannot rememebr
What she's really like inside.

She spends her darkest moments
Locked up and afraid
Crying tears of helplessness
She is so lost.

She tries to drop the act, 
And throw away the masks,
But it hurts so badly.
She feels naked and alone,
She can't go on.
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Fly

I wish/ to fly
Past the madness/ and confusion
Past the chaos/ and dillusion
Past the bitter/ and the sweet
And those mistakes,
I shan't repeat.

Past hearts broken/ and loves lost
The bitter souls,
at righteous cost.

To my beginning,
my very start
The very root,
of my battered heart.

I wish/ to fly...
-----------------------
Emotionless Feeling

The pain I feel right now;
The emptiness,
It leaves me hollow
Without emotion,
Without feeling

I feel as though my eyes are finally open
And I just wish it would all go away;
I'm numb.

I'm a machine;
Paralized of the mind,
The heart, and the soul.

On the outside,
Looking in on myself.
I wish I could wake up
From this terrible dream

I walk through each day
A series of motions,
Each done without feeling,
Or knowing.

I wish to sleep,
And never awake
And for as much as I feel,
It is as if it were true

So quiet I remain,
But inside,
I am screaming;
Screaming in terror
Screaming in pain
I don't know which,
Or if there is a difference,
At all.

I reach out,
But my hands do not move.
I am slowly dying
Piece by piece,
I am losing sensation

All I see is darkness
Emptiness. Cold;
Solitude.

A smile masks my terror
But what do I fear?
I long to cry out,
"Help me! Please, save me!"
But the words are not there.

I try to explain
To bring meaning,
To it all
But all I can manage, is fear;
Fear of my soul,
Fear of my heart
Sheer terror of things unknown

It's so dark
No light in reach
I feel so trapped
Please save me.
Nobody hears,
Not even I.

I grasp at emotions
I'm starved for pain,
Loss, hurt;
Something.
I feel, nothing.

I am dead,
Or might as well be
For I cannot feel,
And no longer care.

I lie down,
In cold darkness
The moon my only salvation
I feel understanding,
In it's emptiness.

I wish to reach out to you,
But you are not here;
I am alone.

The emotionless drum,
Of daily routine
Have become lifeless,
And unfeeling.

I reach for the blade
"I need to feel..."
I hesitate,
One more chance,
For someone to help me;
But only I can save myself,
And I don't care enough,
To even try.

The razor reaches my wrist,
"I long for pain,
I need something, someone."
But it's too late.

I slice,
Two even swipes;
Pain.
A quick feeling of pleasure,
Before the pain takes over.

I fall to the floor,
"I can feel, but where are you?"

Silence. Darkness. Cold;
It's over.